6 Mistakes to Avoid When Raising Bilingual Children
Is raising bilingual children really a walk in the park?
What are the key aspects to consider? The truth is, raising bilingual kids isn’t always easy. We often worry that bilingual children might face challenges, such as language delays. There’s a common misconception that bilingualism could slow down language development. It's essential to stay informed on these topics, especially if you’re raising bilingual children yourself! In this article, I’ll share some important insights and six mistakes to avoid when raising bilingual kids. Let’s dive in!
Have you ever marveled at how quickly children seem to pick up foreign languages? Maybe you’ve even envied their “perfect” pronunciation. Perhaps while on vacation, you watched a child speaking a language that you struggled to learn in school, thinking to yourself, “I spent ten years learning this language and still feel insecure when I speak it, yet these kids are communicating effortlessly!”
Or maybe you’ve had a more personal experience—perhaps your sibling moved abroad, and now you find yourself admiring your nieces’ and nephews’ language skills! Or it might even be your own children growing up with more than one language because, like me, you’re part of the Erasmus generation! 😉 They’re doing great, but what about your family language? If you live abroad, you know how challenging it can be to keep it alive. Between the language at school, your partner’s language, your international friends’ languages, and the second language taught at school… let’s be honest, it’s not as easy as you thought, is it?
On the other hand, you want your children to know your language so they can communicate with family back home. And there’s that deep desire to pass on your culture and the traditions you grew up with. I’ve met so many parents in my multilingualism workshops who’ve shared how their children gradually lost contact with some of their family members and, unfortunately, even lost interest in keeping that connection alive.
Here are some reflections to help you avoid falling into the same trap.
6 Mistakes to Avoid When Raising Bilingual Children
Thinking of them as two monolinguals in one person
Dropping one of the family languages to focus on the majority language
Believing there’s only one way to raise bilingual kids
Attributing any difficulties to bilingualism
Letting myths and prejudices guide your decisions
Thinking of children as sponges
1) Thinking of Bilingual Kids as Two Monolinguals in One Person
Let’s be honest—you’ve probably thought this at least once! I know I did years ago, before I started my academic journey. But this is a misconception. Bilingual individuals use each language in different contexts, and their language skills evolve constantly over time. Bilingualism is dynamic, not static.
We need to think of bilingualism as a complex, individualized linguistic, psychological, and socio-cultural behavior with multiple dimensions. For example, bilingual children use their languages in different contexts: at home, at daycare, at school, during sports, and so on. It’s natural for them to have different levels of proficiency in each language. They may even know certain words in one language but not in the other simply because they don’t need those words in both languages.
2) Blaming Bilingualism for Any Difficulties
It’s understandable for families to worry when they notice their bilingual child struggling with language. However, research shows that bilingualism does not delay or harm a child’s language development.
Studies comparing bilingual and monolingual children with language difficulties reveal that acquiring multiple languages doesn’t create an extra burden for the child. Bilingual children with specific language impairment (SLI), for instance, face the same challenges as monolingual children with SLI—they don’t experience additional difficulties.
Some parents feel obligated to use the local language at home, hoping it will help their child overcome day-to-day challenges, such as schoolwork. Families who have migrated often believe that it’s more important for their child to learn the local language than to continue speaking their heritage language at home. Yet many of these parents aren’t fluent or comfortable in the local language themselves.
Switching to just one language, when a child was previously exposed to two, can cause emotional challenges. The child’s ability to communicate and the quality of interactions with family members may suffer. This choice may even impact the child’s identity, as language is closely tied to emotions and relationships. Children who stop speaking a minority language at home risk not fully acquiring that language, which can also affect their ability to learn a second language, since a strong foundation in one language aids in learning another.
3) Neglecting One Language to Focus on the Majority Language
This mistake is closely related to the previous one and stems from the myth that children need to master one language before learning another, as if their brains can’t handle two languages at once. Families living in a different country than their own may feel tempted to let go of their heritage language, believing that focusing on the majority language will help their child integrate more easily and learn faster.
However, studies show that children can acquire multiple languages simultaneously as long as they feel a need to use each language. There’s no need to wait until they’re older.
The key ingredients for successful bilingual acquisition are a rich linguistic environment—meaning frequent contact with each language—and opportunities for the child to interact with others in those languages.
4) Thinking of Bilingual Children as Sponges
Have you ever thought about what happens to a sponge if you don’t use it for a long time? It dries out, and might even crumble. This isn’t exactly the image we want for bilingual children, but it serves as a reminder that without sufficient input and opportunities to use their languages, it’s hard for them to develop their skills.
All children are born with the ability to acquire at least one language, but they still need to learn it from someone—the members of their community. Even though children appear to learn languages with ease compared to adults, we shouldn’t underestimate the importance of social interaction. A child watching cartoons in a foreign language won’t learn to communicate in that language. They might pick up a few words or songs, but is that enough?
Bilingual children need consistent and varied exposure to all their languages! They need a rich linguistic environment if we want them to master the full range of functions and styles in each language.
5) Believing There’s Only One Way to Raise Bilingual Kids
One of the most fascinating aspects of bilingual language development is that there are many different paths to bilingualism, and, as a result, there are many ways to raise bilingual children. A common mistake is assuming that only children with parents from different nationalities can grow up bilingual. This isn’t true.
The most frequently mentioned strategy is the OPOL method (One-Person-One-Language), where each parent speaks only one language to the child. For instance, the father might speak French, and the mother might speak Dutch.
For parents who speak the same language but live in a foreign country, another common approach is One-Language-One-Location or Minority Language at Home. This means that everyone speaks the heritage language at home, while the majority language is used in external settings. It’s important to ensure the child receives enough input in both languages, such as participating in activities in the majority language or strengthening ties with the local community.
There are countless other ways to raise bilingual children, and it’s essential to stay flexible and adapt to the needs of both the child and the family. Raising children in a multilingual environment is a long-term journey, and every family should find what works best for them.
6) Letting Myths and Prejudices Influence Your Decisions
During my multilingualism workshops, many parents share how they feel pressured by monolingual relatives—often family members back home—about their children’s language skills. This often comes up during family visits.
The reality is that there are still many myths surrounding this topic, and everyone seems to have an opinion on how children should learn languages. In truth, only those who have studied these topics in depth can truly understand and dispel these myths. The misconception I mentioned in point 1 is one of the most common.
Letting these myths shape our expectations can lead to unrealistic goals. I’m often asked, “How long will it take for my child to achieve perfect [insert any language here]?” There’s no simple answer, as it depends on what you mean by “perfect.” Writing a philosophy paper? Speaking without a foreign accent? There’s no such thing as perfect language skills. We can continue learning and improving our abilities throughout our lives!
In the meantime, it’s essential to trust in our children’s ability to learn languages! Maintaining a positive attitude is key. So, how do you respond to a less-than-encouraging comment, perhaps from a family member?
Start by remembering that these comments likely come from a lack of knowledge or preconceived notions. Then, explain in simple terms what it means to be multilingual, perhaps by sharing some of the insights from this article.
Being multilingual is a strength that combines all of a child’s linguistic skills—each one is a valuable resource!
If you found this article helpful, you’ll enjoy my book, "Watch Your Language, Mom! A Guide to Multilingualism", where I share more practical advice and insights for raising confident, bilingual kids. 📖
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References
Bialystok, E. (2011). Reshaping the mind: The benefits of bilingualism. Canadian Journal of Experimental Psychology, 65(4), 229–235.
De Houwer, A. (2009). Bilingual first language acquisition. Multilingual Matters.
Paradis, J. (2007). Bilingual children with specific language impairment: Theoretical and applied issues. Applied Psycholinguistics, 28(4), 551–564.