Raising Multilingual Children When Parents Speak a Non-Native Language at Home
Language choices within a multilingual family can be both fascinating and challenging. A common scenario many families face is when parents do not share a native language and instead use a third, non-native language (often English) as their primary means of communication. Add to that the influence of the majority language of the country they live in—for example German—and the linguistic landscape becomes even more complex.
So how can parents navigate this? How can they ensure their children develop strong multilingual skills while maintaining emotional connections to their languages? The good news is that while this may seem complicated, it is not an uncommon situation, and there are effective strategies to approach it.
The Power of Emotional Connection in Language Learning
One of the most important aspects of raising multilingual children is emotional connection to a language. In Watch Your Language, Mom, I emphasize that language is more than just words; it carries cultural identity, emotions, and family history. This is why it’s often recommended that parents speak the language they feel most comfortable and emotionally expressive in.
In a household where both parents speak English as a non-native common language, a child will naturally be exposed to it. However, if parents also want their child to develop proficiency in their respective native languages, they need to create intentional exposure to those languages.
Which Language Strategy Works Best?
There is no single best approach, but here are some of the most common strategies that families in this situation adopt:
1. One Parent, One Language (OPOL)
Each parent exclusively speaks their native language to the child, whether at home or outside, while English (or another shared language) remains the common family language. This ensures that the child gets strong and consistent input in both parental languages while also developing the community language naturally.
🟢 Best for families who want to maintain strong, distinct language exposure and can enforce clear language boundaries.
🔴 Challenges: Requires strict consistency and may limit the child's exposure to the majority language early on.
2. Minority Language(s) at Home (ML@H)
At home, only minority languages are spoken, even if the parents have different native languages. For example, in a family where one parent speaks Spanish and the other Italian, both parents intentionally avoid speaking English at home, reserving it for external interactions. This maximizes exposure to the minority languages, while the child learns the majority language (e.g., German) naturally through school and society.
🟢 Best for parents who want to ensure their heritage languages remain strong, especially in a country where they are not widely spoken.
🔴 Challenges: Less exposure to the majority language may require additional reinforcement through books, social activities, or bilingual schooling.
Key Differences:
OPOL is speaker-based: Each parent always speaks their language to the child, regardless of location.
ML@H is location-based: Home is dedicated to heritage languages, but parents may switch outside.
3. Flexible Multilingualism
This approach recognizes that families do not always fit into structured models. Parents might start with OPOL but adjust over time based on their child’s needs and the family's realities. For example, one parent might mix languages, or both parents may shift to a common language depending on context.
🟢 Allows adaptation as the child grows and their linguistic needs change.
🔴 Needs clear boundaries to ensure adequate exposure to all languages.
The Role of English as a “Bridge Language”
When English is the common language between parents, children will often pick it up naturally, even if it isn’t a parent’s first language. The key question is whether parents want English to become a strong language for their child or if they prefer to focus on their native languages.
If English is meant to be an active language in the family, it can be reinforced through:
Reading books and storytelling in English.
Singing songs and playing games in English.
Ensuring meaningful conversations in English, not just passive exposure.
Choosing an international or bilingual school with English as the medium of instruction.
However, if the goal is to prioritize family languages while keeping English as a background language, then parents might want to minimize English use in interactions with their child and maximize exposure to their native languages.
This decision depends on the family's long-term vision and the role they want each language to play in their child’s life.
The Influence of the Majority Language
When a family lives in a country where a different language is spoken, that majority language will likely become dominant, especially once the child starts school and interacts with peers. Here are some key considerations:
The majority language often develops naturally through school, social interactions, and media exposure.
Parental involvement, such as reading books together, can strengthen literacy in the majority language.
Heritage languages require active reinforcement—without intentional effort, they may weaken over time.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
1️⃣ Fear of Language Confusion – Some parents worry that using multiple languages will confuse their child. Research shows that multilingual children can separate languages from an early age, though they may mix languages occasionally (which is normal!).
2️⃣ Neglecting Literacy in Minority Languages – Speaking a language fluently doesn’t always translate into literacy. If parents want their child to be able to read and write in their heritage language, they should incorporate books, writing activities, and storytelling early on.
3️⃣ Giving Up Too Soon – Language learning is a long-term process. Even if a child initially resists speaking a particular language, consistent exposure and a positive emotional connection can help them embrace it over time.
Finding the Right Balance for Your Family
Every multilingual family is unique, and there is no single “right” way to raise a multilingual child. The key is to find a balance that works for your family’s specific situation, values, and long-term goals.
If you’d like to explore a structured approach tailored to your family's language journey, I cover this in much greater detail in my book Watch Your Language, Mom. It offers practical guidance and real-life examples to help parents navigate multilingual parenting with confidence. 📖✨ Check it out here!
Additionally, if you're seeking personalized advice, I offer consultations to help families design the best multilingual strategy for their children. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or just want to ensure a smooth language development process, I’d be happy to support you. Feel free to reach out here to book a session. 💬
Final Thoughts
Raising a child in multiple languages when parents themselves use a non-native language at home might seem complex, but it is entirely possible with thoughtful planning and consistency. The most important thing is to ensure that your child builds strong emotional connections to their languages and feels confident navigating their multilingual world.
What’s your experience with multilingual parenting? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to reach out by emailing me at info@karinmartin-linguist.com or connecting with me on LinkedIn for a chat. 😊💬