The Consequences of Dropping a Child’s Language
A Risky Approach to Multilingualism
In many multilingual families, parents worry that speaking more than one language at home will slow down their child’s acquisition of the majority language. As a result, some make the difficult decision to drop their heritage language, believing it will make their child’s life easier. But does this really help, or does it come at a cost?
In my work with multilingual families, I’ve seen the long-term impact of this choice. Research and real-life experiences show that suppressing a child’s home language can have significant cognitive, emotional, and social consequences.
And still, in many educational settings, families are encouraged to 'focus' on the majority language under the belief that this will speed up the process.
Often, this recommendation comes from educators or even pediatricians who are not trained in the complexities of multilingual development.
As a result, families may feel pressured to abandon a language without fully understanding the long-term consequences.
1. Language Loss and Family Disconnection
One of the most profound effects of abandoning a heritage language is the loss of connection with family members. Grandparents, extended family, and even parents themselves may struggle to communicate deeply with their children when the shared language is lost.
For many families, language is more than just communication: it’s a bridge to cultural traditions, values, and family history. When children stop speaking their home language, they often lose the ability to engage in meaningful conversations with relatives.
Over time, this can create emotional distance and a sense of alienation within the family.
2. Cognitive and Academic Implications
Contrary to the myth that multiple languages “confuse” children, research shows that bilingualism enhances cognitive flexibility, problem-solving skills, and executive function.
Dropping a language doesn’t automatically lead to stronger skills in the majority language. Instead, children may miss out on the cognitive benefits of bilingualism, such as better memory, improved multitasking abilities, and increased creativity.
Additionally, heritage language skills often support academic achievement. Studies indicate that strong skills in a first language provide a foundation for learning additional languages, including reading and writing in the school language. Children who continue to develop their home language often perform better academically than those who abandon it.
3. Children Are Actually Silenced
A heartbreaking consequence of dropping a language is that children are effectively silenced.
They start school with the potential of becoming bilingual, yet by the time they leave, they often emerge as monolinguals. This is a loss, not just of a language, but of an entire linguistic identity that could have been nurtured.
Instead of leveraging their natural multilingual potential, children are made to feel that one language is “wrong” or “less valuable.” This can lead to decreased self-confidence, reluctance to speak, and even negative attitudes toward their heritage culture.
The long-term impact? A diminished sense of identity and belonging, and in some cases, a rejection of their cultural roots altogether.
4. Emotional and Identity Struggles
Language is deeply tied to identity.
When children are discouraged from speaking their home language, they may experience feelings of shame or confusion about their cultural background. Some may internalize the message that their heritage language is less important or even undesirable, leading them to reject a part of their identity.
This can be particularly damaging in migration contexts, where children are already navigating cultural adaptation. Without a strong foundation in their home language, they may struggle with a sense of belonging: never feeling fully “at home” in either culture.
5. Long-Term Regret and Language Reclamation Efforts
Many adults who lost their heritage language as children later regret it. As they grow older, they often try to reclaim their lost language, but relearning a language that was suppressed during childhood is much harder than maintaining it from the start. The emotional toll can be significant, with feelings of resentment toward parents or educational systems that discouraged bilingualism.
Throughout my years of teaching Italian, I’ve had many adult students who enrolled in my courses not just to learn a new language, but to reconnect with a piece of themselves. For them, Italian was a family language, one they had lost along the way, and they longed to reclaim it. They are lucky: Italian is widely taught, with many resources available.
But what about all the other heritage languages that are harder to find courses for? Many languages, especially those of smaller communities, risk being lost entirely when they are not passed down.
In contrast, children who are given the opportunity to maintain their home language often feel grateful later in life. They can communicate with family members, stay connected to their cultural roots, and use their multilingual skills in professional and social settings. Preserving a heritage language is not just about communication, it’s about identity, belonging, and opportunity.
A Smarter Approach: Supporting Multilingual Development
Rather than dropping a language, families can take steps to ensure both the heritage and majority languages thrive.
✅ Create a Language Plan: Establish a consistent strategy that supports both languages in meaningful ways.
✅ Use the Heritage Language in Daily Life: Simple habits like storytelling, songs, and family traditions can reinforce language use.
✅ Find Community Support: Seek out bilingual schools, language programs, or community groups to maintain exposure and motivation.
✅ Normalize Multilingualism: Show children that speaking multiple languages is a strength, not a weakness.
🔹 Delve deeper into these strategies in my book, Watch Your Language, Mom! I explore the myths surrounding multilingual parenting and offer practical guidance for raising bilingual children.
Final Thoughts
Dropping a language may seem like an easy solution in the short term, but it often leads to long-term consequences that affect cognitive development, emotional well-being, and cultural identity. Instead of eliminating a language, let’s empower children to embrace their multilingualism: giving them the lifelong gift of connection, opportunity, and confidence.
Are you navigating multilingual parenting?
Let’s build a strategy that works for your family. 📩 Book a consultation today!
References
Bialystok, E., Craik, F. I. M., & Luk, G. (2012). Bilingualism: Consequences for mind and brain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 16(4), 240–250.
Cho, G., & Krashen, S. (1998). The negative consequences of heritage language loss and why we should care. In S. Krashen, L. Tse, & J. McQuillan (Eds.), Heritage language development (pp. 31–40). Language Education Associates.
Cummins, J. (2001). Bilingual children's mother tongue: Why is it important for education? Sprogforum, 7(19), 15–20.